Adventures

One day, when I can drive and you can drive and we have a whole day to ourselves.

We're going to get in your little car and go on an adventure. I don't mid where we go as long as there is candyfloss when we get there, and we can play show tunes on the way.

Oh Norwich, how I love you.

I never want to leave Norwich - call me what you will but why leave when I love this lovely place?

Sitting in my little box on saturdays I can give the customers directions to just about anywhere, I am a tiny map of Norwich. And meeting all of my NYFC friends in the centre, we could hardly find a space on the streets where we couldn't hear music. Wether it be the slightly unnerving puppet man, or the wonderful middle eastern muic from outside the market - Norwich was alive with the sound of buskers like us. We were even interrupted by a medievel procession with recorders and drums, although they did stop for a little to watch us.

I know which deli does the best sandwiches, and which make thier soup fresh in the morning. I can tell you where to get the best latté in Norwich, and where's the best place to drink it. I can tell you where you can get a cup of spiced apple and raspberry juice before wandering through the cobbled twisty streets and watching the sun go down behind the cathedral whilst hurried people pass, wrapped in coats and scarves, rubbing thier hands together.

My friends are there, my job, my school, George.
Sure, it's nice to go somewhere new, but if you're happy just where you are - there's just no sense in not making it the place you always come back to.

Stress level : High

I do not have a costume for Robyn's birthday. I wish to utilise my yellow tights that I only bought for a halloween party anyway. They were expensive! Pfft.

So, it was non-school uniform today, which always confuses me. I don't know who I can and can't growl at for walking too slowly down the wind tunnel when i'm trying to get to biology. Not that I did anything in biology, but the intention was there. I was actually sad enough to not get up to do some very importnant tasks because I had one of the awesome chools that would definately be pinched if I got up. I just sat and counted change and ate satsumas.

No eating in the lab.

So I spent my lunchtime removing hair from various gentlemen in the EX 6th form common room. I ripped wax strips off 2 year 11 boys, Mr. Everett (oh sweet revenge) and Mr. Harrison - who didn't seem phased. Regular waxer methinks. I then took over the shaving of Jem's head, which was quite fun. Especially seeing how much I hated those stupid sideburns he's been sporting for weeks.

Tell you what though, if anybody comes to me after tomorrow asking for a hoody I shall have them skewered. So many 6th formers - most likely the ones that skip assembly - have not told me if they want a damn hoody. I'm getting sick of them. Pfft. You're not getting one. So there.

Here are your points for consideration of the day.

• Why does rootbeer have a mouthwash-y aftertaste?
• How do you get satsuma oil off your jeans?
• Why do people think that if they have a certain ritual for sctraching the panels off a scratchcard they're more likely to win?
• When did facebook become an absolutely essential service?

I have been informed

that George does not have the answers, merely stupid questions of his own.

Ee Larv 'im. x

So i've been thinking...

How long does it take for a raindrop to get from cloud to floor? How far has it travelled? Did it collide with another raindrop on the way down to make an even bigger one?

Maybe make one of those huge fat ones that always goes in your eye or down your neck - not at all pleasant.

And now i'm sat here eating peas I wonder, how long has this pea been a pea? At what point is it even called a pea? It had to come from a pod yes? How long did that take? And why is it so yummy...?

Maybe George Kwiatkowski will have the answers to these and so many more of my pointless questions...

Well at least it's half finished.

My essay, I have a title, I have 3 non-sensical rambling paragraphs but no point, no conclusion and no analysis. The end is not in sight. This means no gospel meeting, no Norwich, no George.

Drat.

On the plus side, I've finished season one of House. I'm hooked. Season two please Georgey?

1am is a very quiet hour.

At what point does not being very tired turn into insomnia? I'm not quite there yet but I want to be sure of the tipping point so as when I arrive at it - I can be sure of my self diagnosed inability to sleep.

I don't know why i'm up at 1am checking up on my cupcake blogs, my political ramblings, rachel's most recent minidates. I just am. No, you on facebook, it has nothing to do with my obsession with facebook application games. Yes, they're sad, and no I don't have 'a problem' they're simply entertaining. And all I think about all day...

I kid, honestly.

So, methinks the norovirus has gone away. I consumed an entire scotch egg earlier and it has only left me with mild rumblings from the stomach area as opposed to the hideously unpleasant repercussions I have been suffering all week from anything other than lucozade and gala apples. I even ventured forth from my house today in a bold attempt to outwit my stomach into thinking I was no longer governed by it, rather I was in control. This, my dear readers was a fatal error. Do not walk to school, get on a bus for an hour, sit in the cantine, go into town, have a cup of tea, sit for 3hrs in Neros and then walk back to Georgey's house if you have a funny tum. It will hurt. It does hurt. I am in pain.

This I blame for my being up at 1am.

Is everyone ill?

I really think they are. Anna, Rach, Me, Oscar...

I think i've now read every web comic, watched every episode of friends, scrubs, gilmore girls and veronica mars there is. And consumed nothing but lucozade and apples.

Have lost 3lbs. Lookin' good, feelin' gross.

Daytime Television.

Is crap.

I've been off ill today and yesterday and I am not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. Not that I can afford not to, it's getting too close to all these birthdays for me to be losing money. But sitting in a box coughing and feeling sick is going to be crappy.

I'm watching the gymnastics thing yon telly, all the ones i've seen so far have fllen off, fallen over or landed on their bums. It's such a shame, they're all so nervous and all those people watching. I can't even talk to strangers on the phone without mild panic setting in, how these people fling themselves around in leotards under such pressure is beyond me.

Euuuurgh, I wish George was here. Being ill is boring.

Alex Stobbs

Is possibly my favourite person. If you haven't heard of him already - he is a 21 year old boy at cambridge university studying music. He has cystic fibrosis. He doesn't play on it, or let it ruin his life. Quite the opposite. He is an absolute inspiration and I am in awe of his playing, his composing, and his conducting. So sad that such a genius should be so plagued by such a terribe illness...

I've been glued to the telly tonight.

Sarah McLachlan

Spend all your time waiting

For that second chance

For a break that would make it okay

There's always one reason

To feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction

Oh beautiful release

Memory seeps from my veins

Let me be empty

And weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line

And everywhere you turn

There's vultures and thieves at your back

And the storm keeps on twisting

You keep on building the lie

That you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference

Escaping one last time

It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh

This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

Because you're worth it.

Love is a good haircut. Gorgeous to look at from any angle. It doesn't stick out or go frizzy in the rain. You don't have to shower it with expensive things for it to look healthy, and make you look happy. You can hide behind it when you don't feel like facing the world, or you can dress it up with a pretty bow to make people notice what a good thing you're got going on up there. It'll still be there, any day, good or bad. It will wait for you, if you don't think you have that extra 10minutes this morning. It doesn't mind behind pulled up into a ponytail for a little bit if it's getting in the way - it won't kink.

It likes being part of you, the bit that catches the sunshine first. The bit that you can make your own. It likes to make you feel confident and beautiful.

My hair is just perfect.

If music be the food of love, play on.

Give me excess of it.

The course of true love never did run smooth, but like all great stories first the lovers must face trying times if for no other purpose than to prove thier love for one another. I write this for 2 of the people in my life, one more obvious than the other. To my Romeo, whilst journeys end in lovers meeting - i do not wish to stop just yet. I wouldnt want to walk beside anybody but you.

To Florizel, I hope you find love again with Perdita.

When you do dance, I wish you a wave of the sea, that you might ever do nothing but that.

I remain mobile.

Derren Brown - anyone watch it? Did it work for you?

Maybe I was too close minded to the idea that through the powers of suggestion a man in a studio somewhere very far away could persuade my unconscious mind that I had no choice but to stay exactly where I was sat. Maybe I was affected, maybe some tiny bit of me was stuck - just not the bit connected to my chair.

Or maybe it was a load of rubbish, as I suspected...

Fallen arches are shit.

As if my nagging incessant coughing/sniffing predicament wasn't fun enough - lets chuck in a suprisingly painful fallen arch for good meaure. Oh and, instead of missing some crappy lesson to go to the doctors - how about I miss my frees to WALK there to get it looked at? Mhm? Sound good?

I need another cinnabun. I made 9 today. I've eaten 2. Fattyfattyfatfat.

Torben - girls are not crap at maths.

Beej - answer your phone.

Hannah - i'm sorry I wasn't in today to give you your Tim Minchin CDs, if it's any consolation they're very very funny.

Ami - Hurry up with the Sims 3. I want a go.

If I could be anywhere right now.

I would be on a futon in smallborough drinking carrot and strawberry wine.

Anywhere but anywhere without you.

Leggings are not trousers.

Dear Y12. I know that it's very exciting moving up from GCSEs to ALevels and the thrill of being able to dress as you please is an overwhelming one. But could you please cling onto the shred of common decency that our mothers hope we have retained and stop flashing your bums at me whilst I am trudging around school. The novelty will wear off and your bottom will get cold. On another note, thankyou to those of you who have opted for leggings AND a skirt, not OR a skirt. You latter few end up with the same gross misdemenour as the forementioned ladies in the arse department. Forgive me for sounding like a teacher, but it's neither dress code, nor pleasant.

Dear George. You stole my latté you crafty clownfish. Joke's on you though, it had no shot of caramel unlike my usual non-free beverages. I did however enjoy my letter. I love you alot.
Happy 5monthaversavery my lovely boyfriend.

I could have done better.

I know it.

I haven't totally failed. I did at maths, but screw that. Wasn't worth the stress and worry I gave it last year. Biology was fine, Pe was fine (I aced one module and nearly failed the other one, dragged it right down) Politics was a bit shakey but it's never been my strongpoint. I just feel like I could have done better, I worked so hard...

Right, that's my self-pity done with.

Viki threw a great party last night, I suffered a little this morning (we all did) but I had a lovely time. Viki always throws the best parties.

Missing George to bits, I really am. I have to wait another 6days for a cuddle. I could do with one now please?

Watching stars without you.

It was this time last week that I was strolling along the beach with George, we'd spent all week camping just behind the sand dunes. Having BBQs, making dreamcatchers and campfires. Hiding in our tent when it rained, playing cards. Lying on the beach or swimming in the sea when the sun was out. I even got a very faint tan.

I so wish I was back there - George is so far away! (fittingly, Des'ree is playing, thats where I got the title from today, and it's just passed the bit where it goes "where are you now?") He's all the way in Florida having a smashing time in the American sunshine. I am in the English afernoon dullness, knitting wintery pre-emptive cardigans and wooly socks.

Results in a week minus a day. I'm not being silly and telling everyone i'm SO EXCITED cos i'm not, or ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED cos i'm not. I'm curious, maybe a little aprehensive (not nervous, that's different.) But whatever I get, life will go on. I'll still be at Notre Dame for Y13, i'm not that dippy. I might even hang on and wait for George to come back so we can open them together - unless I just can't control myself and open them anyway. I hope my friends do as well as they hoped they have, and that all the cocky bastards who didn't do any revision do worse than they could have. That'll learn them :).

Do I go to that party tonight? Hmmmm. Nehhhhh. We'll see.

Ooo, before I go. Happy Birthday Viki. Welcome to being 17 :)

Would it look weird...

...if I were to wear a duvet with head and armholes in it on the beach to avoid anybody seeing me in a bikini?

Yes?

Dammit.

A week is a long time, actually.

Especially if you have absolutely nothing to do but play xbox and finish your UCAS application.

So, i'm going camping in a week, for a week and I don't know what to pack... I haven't ever been on a camping holiday with the purpose of the trip being camping as opposed to it just being a convinient and a cheap form of accomodation. Lots of millionaires shortbread and a swimsuit for the beach I guess.

I've finally been discharged so I can drink again without giving my liver a good bashing :)

Personal statements are silly.

I haven't done any creative writing for a year and it's starting to show. Can't I just say something simple like "I'm not a complete dimwit, please let me into your university."? No? Pffft.

Working tomorrow with Swanny, intend to find an oriental shop to get some anko and shichimi in my lunchbreak. I'm making yummy shichimi duck ramen for George and some gooey chocolate pots before he goes off to Florida with Alex. Cosy night in :)

But! That'll be after we get back from camping which is going to be really fun - I can't wait to spend all week on the beach :) And now I don't have the stupid cast on, I can go in the seeeea! Just have to put up with the splint not being on for a bit. Ouch Charlie.

Right, back to Oblivion.

Latitude and tea

Latitude was fantastic, i'm sure that everyone has heard alllll about it by now so I shant add in the obvious details. Weather, acts, the fact we slept in tents etc. Yes I got a bit drunk, yes this was my drug of choice for the entire weekend.

Apart from the gas and air that I needed whilst having my broken hand wrapped in plaster. We wont talk about that too much. All we need know is that it hurts alot.

I have decided for the billionth time to be healthier. Yes. Again. New plan, coke is now iced tea, burgers are now salads/sandwiches and xbox is now squash :) I'm sure my lovely George will teach me how to play. Although saying that, i'm borrowing the ol' xbox whilst George is at his dad's and any help with oblivion would be much appretiated.

I'm off for a sofa date with some Earl Grey from Harrods - posh tea.

Sorry sports day.

I have SWINEFLU. Or at least a cold. I personally think my new husky croak of a voice is an improvement on the old normal one, and the constant coughing and sniffing is very attractive these days. Or so i'm told.

George is home tomorrow :D and after a VERY sweet text very early this morning, I am even more excited about seeing him again. Call me sad, but a week without the best boyfriend in the world is not my kinda week.

Not to mention, i've been at school all week while he's been on the beach, jealous much?

Latitude is in 6 days kids, my tickets STILL aren't here, I havent bought any food, all I have is a tent and a T-shirt I made today that has "I <3 LATITUDE" ironed across it. I think it's cool. Currently my entire life is centred on going to this festival. The tshirt doesn't lie.

For now, i'm off to watch a bit of masterchef and then hope that Ianto comes back to life in Torchwood, I think I cried a little last night when he died. Oh Ianto.

Do it yourself then.

It's just a freaking TOWEL.

Idiot.

Keep trying, mister sun.

I thought today was going to be terrible.

I was too cross to try to make today a good day.
I didn't want to get up and go to school, all but one of my lessons were cancelled .
My friends are either the other side of the city, or wrapped up in competition.
I avoided the confrontation today, I took the badges anyway.
It rained whenever I looked outside, it poured when I tried to get home. The sun is still trying to peep through - it's getting late for it to find its way through.
Everyone else just seemed to be worked up over silly things, conversation kept ending in muttered curses with no see you later. I got my best friend's busy tone, again.

Then I came home and my cat had stolen a bag of asda beef mince, she was only caught when she fell off the hob with it. I'm one day closer to Saturday. This cheered me up endlessly. Tomorrow is gospel, I can get a break from here and school. Can't wait to get away.

Ahhhhh. Come home soon you.

He's gone to Newquay

And I am still here.

No matter! I had a lovely first day at work, sitting in my box (SAUNA) eating grapes and haribos and dealing with some very funny people. One of whom paid to park, then just slept in his car...

Then of course it was the gospel choir gig with the Cringleford singers. They were all lovely ladies, and we had a great time singing and dancing, depite the heat up on stage. We were all getting very into it, as always, and Gabriel got everyone dancing with a bit of crazy solo clapping front and centre. Very funny.

Today I spent 4hours of my life watching tennis. Then my favourite lost. Dammit. It was a good game though! Wish I could play tennis.

I am now watching TopGear, not with my George. I am not enjoying it quite as much...

Fronter, I hate you.

And everything to do with you. If I have to put up with this moronic, useless, disfunctional, confusing and annoying system all year I shall be responsible for the vandalism of a fair few school computers.

Also, I'm not going to Nottingham anymore :(

Pfffft.

Miso soup

I really want some miso soup tonight, like, reallyreally. I don't think you can buy it in tins, maybe only at wagamamas.

In further news Ciara was moaning I haven't updated in 12 days. I considered swapping her copy of sims 3 for an update. A fair trade I reckon :)

I'm not pleased to be back at school, I thought I would be but now i'm getting on with things I'm not enjoying it at all. I don't get fronter, I don't like UCAS, I don't like any of this Y13 lark. Not one bit, bring on summer please, i'd like to not be worrying about writing presentations on Ronald Reagan or learn everything there is to know about ecology and carbon photosynthesis all on my own. Eurgh.

I had a job interview today, infact, today was very busy. I was off at the N&N this morning, then to the post office for passport forms, then my only lesson of the day which was politics, then more passport stuff, then an interview at Monsoon - 75% discount if I get it! But if I don't get that I have the car parking job safe :) Sitting in the box. All day. Doing work. Chattin' to Swanny/Thomas/Abi.

This was not a fun update, I just wanted to keep Ciara happy. She's a fussy one. YEH YOU CIARA.

Joking.

Totally joking.

2.12am

The observant of you will notice that the posting time of this is wrong - my laptop was dead when I wrote this. It had to wait to reach the world wide web.

And so here I am, cross legged on my bed wearing highly attractive cowprint pyjamas, (those of you who went on DofE with me have seen these tiptoing around thistles at 6am, they're well travelled) consuming my second very yummy bread roll of the night. I've just finished watching "Never been kissed" which although sweet, I wouldn't recommend it as a compelling view.

It did however serve the purpose of provoking some nostalgic moments about ND prom'08 and the years preceeding it. Ah highschool. Now as I sit mere days away from my final year at ND I am feeling a little older and wiser but still childishly attached to sitting in the canteen drinking chocomilk and spending aimless hours on the green with friends i've now known for nearly 6years - in some cases nearly 12!

For now at least I shall indulge my naivety that my best friends will always be waiting for me at the gates at 3.30, or pottering through tombland in thier navy blue blazers. My biggest worry will be a particularly tricky exam or a pressing deadline, and I will always belong to that little corner of the city with it's mismatched buildings, expansive tarmac basketball courts and beautifully kept greens that contains the little world I have grown up in. And yes, I shall remain proud of my disgusting green and rust jumper with the matching tie that still hangs ready on my mirror. I do not think I shall ever unpin my little prefect badge from it.

And just above, on my wall, a picture of us all on one of my favourite days. How we all once were. In the sun, on the green together, happy just to be.

I will miss all of this, in just one more year.

Well hello there Latitude :)

My new tent :)

It takes a crane to build a crane.

It takes two floors to make a storey.

Soooo, it's been a week and a bit since last post. I've had a lovely half work, half George half term and i'm now slowly pottering back into the routine of getting up in time to see midday and going to bed before midnight. Although it's hard to put the phone down...

The chickens are still here :) much to my delight, getting back from the Peak district (DofE, very fun, lovely weather) to find my babs hen was in the garden and happy to see me. I will miss her horribly when she goes. I will not miss exams come friday when I am free until January to live without the ever pressing doom of "the time now is 9.04, you may begin working". Writing 18151/6120 at the top of every sheet of paper i'm given.

It's a bit late. I'm a bit tired. I might go to bed now... C1C2 revision and a driving lesson tomorrow, need all the brainpower I can get.

Neither of us take a great photo

But this our first together, and my chicken got in on it too. Lionchicken.

The internet has ruined my handwriting.

Stupid perfectly formed typing has made every letter I write a half assed attempt at legible wording that lacks both style and individuality.
In short, writing letters has become more about what I write, than how I write, which is bad, because I don't have a great deal to say.

I'm listening to Jason Mraz on loop today - "hold your own, know your name, go your own way. and everything will be fine." I have my first exam tomorrow that if anything, I have over-prepared for. I am worried, I am nervous, I am irrational.

This has led to me rearranging my furniture and hiding at my boyfriends house for about 7 hours longer than I should have today. And I still miss him a little bit alot.

Eeeeeuuuuurgh. Just a few more weeks. Just a few more.

blogging bandwagon? jump!

It has become a bit of a trend recently to start up a rambly, sometimes slightly incoherent, tragically satirical but thoughtfully observant blog.

I did it before you lot.

Nehhh.

The latest trend.

Exams seem to have risen in popularity since last week. Everybody is almost gloating that they have more than someone else and thiers are more crammed into study leave than thier friend's. But honestly, why are we all suddenly SO wound up?!

• They weren't sprung on us, we've known they were coming for weeks months and years.
• We are prepared, thats what all those lessons were for, remember?
• We have about a week before they start for 90% of us, thats a week to sit and revise stuff you dont know.
• They dont last so long that your whole life is soon going to be consumed by one paper. They normally last about an hour, maybe 2. That gives you the rest of the day to calm the bloody hell down about question 4, regardless of what the person next to you wrote about the 13th olympic games since the one after the one where those people did that thing.
• Wanna take it for A2? You only need a D. Ok, nobody likes getting Ds, but you will not be forced out of 6th form and made to work in primark if you do not get an A*.

This is possibly just a list of things that I have written to try and persuade myself wether all this worrying i'm doing is useful or not. Oh God I hope I don't get all Ds.

Dear Rachel.

You are not a perfect person, but you are a beautiful person, and that goes for the inside and out. Who wants to be perfect anyway?
I will never try to change you, I wouldnt want to even if I could. But i'd love to see you happy with yourself and the world around you.

We should go for waffles more. Always with the bananas. We should make more biscuits covered in icing and smelling of cinnamon. Maybe you could teach me how to make those origami flowers, I could teach you how to make those nutella milkshakes. One day we'll play guitar badly together, and i'll learn how to play Golden on piano.

I'd be a better friend if I knew how. Until then, do you want to come round for tea and cake?

Dingsbums. Sarah.

You used to be more.

I'm so swamped in work right now. I have fallen prey to the unending pile of revision that possibly every 17yr old in the country has right now. I'd like to assume I am in the underachieving half of said students.

My twin sis ran the race for life today - go look at the vid on fazzy b. I'm in it, looking rank (y)

The show went well! No major mess ups. I nearly remembered all the egyptian gods... Heigham park tomorrow, solo, eek, not looking forward to that. The rest will be fun...it is a funday after all.

By the way, I may have optical swine flu - is that possible?

Free bird.

People have always puzzled me. Not in an intimidating way - i'm not a shy person. But in that, a million and one different things could be going through each person's mind as you pass them on the street. You can't tell in passing if the woman in the red coat is rushing to put an extra 50p in the parking meter or because she's late for a date at a posh restaurant. You sometimes someones eye but we never say anything, we rarely smile.
I sat behind a guy from Norwich school today on the bus. I've been dying to get to know him after I saw he was reading one of my favourite books but i've never plucked up the courage to just sit next to him and say hello.
What if he thinks i'm weird? What if he turns out to be a jerk and i'm stuck on the bus with him every day of the week? What if, a seat or two behind me there's another girl looking at him, dying to get to know him - his dream girl and if only she were a little braver, she would go and sit next to him, say hello. But i'd be in her seat? That'd just be cruel, no?

Possibly I overthink things.

I hate that i'm going to be very very busy these coming weeks. Not just revision either. Allsorts. I just want to have a whole day free to curl up on the couch with my lovely George and watch the gadget show and drink pink fanta. Maybe make cake in mugs with squirty cream or have squished cheese sandwiches in the sun. Late nights, long lies ins.

Just got to stick it out till July - then i'll be free. Free free free.

I hold my hands up...

...and admit that my religously regular blogging activities have taken a knock over Easter and yes, my 114th blog is just as tragically mediocre as the other 113 (except maybe that one about my chickens.)

An update! My cyber friends. "Yes please." I hear you say, "what fasinating tale might you have to beguile us with this time?" Well, I say, do read on. For last night was easily, hands down, out of the park the best night of the holidays. I am of course referring to Rachel's campfire party which, I quote from my dear friend Beej - "A roaring success." I like that - it has a fiery implication to it, very fitting Beej. There was scrumpy, tealights in saucepans, bunting, tents, bacon and beans, sleeping bags and summer sunshine. The perfect combination for a recluse such as myself, who up until last night had not had the pleasure of such varied company other than my wonderful boyfriend and my siblings. Refreshing, if you will, to be immersed in the cheery goings on of leaping through bonfires, lemon zingers and gin and tonic casually mixed with crackling fireside conversation and the clear summer sky with it's many stars twinkling down on us. Yes, I enjoyed myself immensely and I congratulate Rachel on being the hostess with the mostess :) I still have that tell tale scent of wood smoke and camping in my hair and have erected my tent in the garage to dry off a little. I hate the smell of damp tent.

In other news, I am now driving! My 4th lesson shall be on Monday (prior warning to stay off the roads) and now that my dear father has been so kind as to buy a beaten up second hand ford fiesta and has offerred to place Ami and I on the insurance, I shall be out and about alot more on her majesty's highways and byways. It's fun, honestly, but it's so stressful having many different metal objects coming at you at some speed from many varying directions. Roundabouts are my nemesis.

I have just come upstairs actually from making fairy cakes covered in strawberry icing with strawberries sticking out and covered in silver balls. I think they look like yummy little princess cakes, but if I am to be incriminatingly honest, they do have nice little wells in the middle of them and as lovely as they taste, I have filled the wells with icing, which will taste very very very sweet. But thats ok, I dont think George will mind. Hopefully. I have already admitted to be a useless cook, it shouldnt come as a suprise that I cant make fairy cakes. They taste lovely though. I'll take them up tomorrow when I go to see my bubby then on Saturday we're off to Pleasurewood Hills! Yay! :) Havent been since 2 years ago with Georgia - we ate alot of candyfloss. And saw the sealions twice. Bless.

Exciting stuff. Just waiting for some photos to appear on facebook now. (Viki?)

Many easter well wishes and holiday greetings to all. Have a picture :)

Sa-weeeeet.

Well my holidays have just vastly improved :)

Ok, so I have piles and piles of maths revision to do if I ever want to get a passing grade. And yes, other revision for the other 3 subjects obviously needs doing. I need to read up on my highway code before I take my theory. My room is a mess and I need to get new shoes and jeans before school starts again unless i want to be in the fatty jeans all term.

BUT.

I am wandering around with a very cheeky little smile on my face and a spring in my step because I am no longer the last singleton of my year group. Yes. I have found an amazing boy who likes me back. Facebook has declared, Sarah is in a relationship. *mad dancing*

If he reads this it'll embaress him horribly :) I dont caaaaaare. Best Thursday for a very. VERY. Long time.

No. No. No.

Just. No.

Today was just no.

I'm going to sit and watch the inbetweeners and drink tea. Then sleep alot. Then go back to poxy school. Then go to the beach.

The beach will be good.

Banoffee Pie.

I made one, then ate far too much of it. Turns out I have a bottomless pit of a stomach. It was gloopier than I had imagined, but with layers of chocolate biscuits, custard, caramel, bananas and whipped cream all with grated chocolate between, i wasn't shocked.

I'll put up a piccy if i can suss out the phone picture thingy.

So. I've drunk a good few pints of lemsip today. It hasn't helped much. Bear with a sore head springs to mind... Stats was SHIT. I even got kicked out, which was charming. No doubt i've failed that. I no longer have a second sport for my AS level in PE. FANTASTIC. I have a week to find a new one. But, Thomas - my saviour is going climbing with me on Saturday. So that'll be out the way.

Ok, so I'm a tad stressed. It's a thursday. I'm allowed to be stressed.

I have alot of work to do before tomorrow's C1C2 test. Ahhhhhhh.

I picked now to eat this?

Just as i'm yumming my way through an entire tin of custard (low fat, calm down) Up comes Heston making calf brain custard from, you guessed it, brains, and fermented fish guts.

I don't feel like finishing my custard any more.

Ultimate frisbee tomorrow, i'm so excited :)

114 days to go

You are not lost. You are here.

I lean on people. I always have. Some people are leaners, and some people are supporters. It's the simple constructive properties of life. I am a leaner. Or at least I have been recently.

I am the first to raise my hand and admit that it's simply impractical to rely on these sturdy and supportive individuals for everything life throws at you - despite me having kept this up for an extended period. But i'm also the first to admit that without them, I would have had trouble staying up. I dont know if I say enough how much these people mean to me - I dont know if they even know that I think about it that much. I do though.

This meant something to me -

"God placed us upon the highest cliff top and said to us, you are free to fall. To fall is to live the life I have given you. To fall is to trust me to catch you. If God had wanted us to plunge to the rocks below, if this were to be our fate. He would not have given us those we love, for they are our wings. They are our safety."

hmm.

I dont know how better to put that. I hope they know though.

Edge to Edge

I'm so looking forward to my pizza coming out of the oven.

Today was schooly - there's honestly not much else to report. I've totally not been in the blogging mood recently. I fear I may end up saying something in the heat of the moment - it's been a bit rocky.

Gah - i'll be more interesting soon, I promise.


Have a picture.

Not again

ONCE WAS ENOUGH THANKS.

Heston

This man is toying with the laws of food and nature. He's made a pig/duck/goose/chicken/pig monster nutant beast and is stuffing it with a billion different animals.
It's a tiny bit sick.

Maths today was impossibly difficult - maybe just for me. It was one of those moments that you sit there looking at the problem willing your brain to work it out by itself without me doing the work. Needless to say, it didnt really happen. I'm pinning the blame on a late night last night. As fun as it was doing the Prince of Egypt rehersal, getting home at gone half 10 is a silly time of night when i still had stats homework to do and needed a shower before bed. It was about midnight by the time i got to sleep - i cant do maths on 6 hours sleep.

I'm complaining a bit too much methinks.

On a lighter note, it's interesting and kinda fun having the french exchange students around. I've spoken (english) to a few of them and my very poor attempts at french have either made them laugh or look at me funny so heavens knows what i said to them. It usually ends up with either of us miming then just laughing and asking someone else to translate.

Tomorrow is EMPA day! Joy of joys. Biology. Ahhh. I dont really know what to expect, I think it's something on pectins and hydrolysation of something according to snatches of conversation i've listened in on. Either way, it's a flawed exam what with being able to see over the bench at what your friend is doing. I'll make sure i'm opposite Jemmo.

Anywho, must be off, trig functions to do and my IQ tends to drop as I get closer to midnight. Au revoir!

Weekends

Not all they're cracked up to be methinks.

Stuff keeps going wrong.

Pfffffffft.

If anything, school is going to be the break.

Red Nose Results

I got my brown envelope yesterday :) After days and weeks of fretting, nailbiting and general despair at the prospect of having failed the first half of my AS courses. I am pleased to report that I, Sarah Mills, am not a total failure at school.

Biology - B
Politics - C

Good ones too, i'm retaking politics in the hope of getting a B at least, if not juuuuuust scraping an A. That'd be good. Maybe wishful thinking. I was chuffed with blodge. I was bracing myself for a U.

Moving onto today, all my lessons apart from P5 was cancelled. Joy. Free day. Free day that I would have liked to spend in bed really, but oh well. Me, Cati, Hannah and Kim pottered down to the cathedral to do some maths in the sun and wander about. Bumped into George, Ski and Beej (briefly) which was nice :) hadnt expected them to be out really.

I'm excited to hear how jazz night has gone, I'm not sure if it's over yet but my favourite bass player in the whole wide world is playing and I have my jazz shoes on just for him. I wish I could have stayed for all of it! I could do with a good bit of jazzing. I did get a mini fix this morning in one of the dingy dungeon practice rooms in school with Jemmo for a few hours. (I'm totally better at flute than Jem. Ha.)

I'm off to do some more work with comic relief in the background, they're on something like £28m.

Woah.

The Soul Sessions

Is my current choice of mellow and chilled out background music. I have just successfully sorted out, re-organised and holepunched my folders. All my work is categorically filed with postits a plenty and page tags in each different, sub-section, category and syllabus statement.

This is very theraputic for my inner balances. You have no idea.

So now, i'm compiling my revision timetable leading up to my first exam prioritising with the stuff i've missed, or had completely gone over my head. Then some good ol' basics. Then add-ons. It only dawned on me when Tom said in politics today that this time last year I was panicking about GCSEs. Mt goodness. How naive I was.

I am an oasis of calm. I am an oasis of calm. I am an oasis of calm.

I'm terrified.

A note to my older sibling.

Quit reading my blog.

Operation bikini.

I could drown in the amount of ben and jerrys I have consumed this weekend. Comfort eating - as mentioned to Emma only moments ago is going to wreck my summer. Operation bikini is my attempt to not be the slightly chubby, very single, very untanned girl sat with a face like thunder all summer until the weather gets cold enough for me to put my fat man trackies back on and hide in my room.

Yes - this is me overexaggerating a rather crappy weekend. But I have every right to. Just because.

Dont judge me. Just call me, ok?

A test of character.

There are more han 6 billion people on our planet. 6 billion different people, who laugh differently, smile differently, think differently. Being an individual is being one of 6 billion people doing exactly the same thing.

I believe that it is because of this vast quantity that we (or rather, I) will never understand even a tiny fraction of these people. Why they think what they think, or say what they say. What I wouldnt give for just a hint of an insight into some of the people I spend my time with. Primarily, what they think about me.

Call me paranoid if needs be - i can think of worse labels. But I do spend a huge amount of my time and effort worrying about what kind of impression I make. I worry that my friends dont actually like me that much (a fear that has recently been confirmed on 4 counts). I worry that something I say or do without a second thought leads to someone else making a false judgement of my character or personality. I guess it's the worrying that cushions the shock of finding out that I was right - and as much as it hurts to have these worries confirmed. At least I know i'm not an idiot.

All except one - him, I was suprised by. That one isn't going to heal quite as quickly. Sure, I could cry and stamp my feet. Probably send a very pissed off text message or email, blank said individual for a while until i've cooled off and the world has carried on a little. But it wont be the first time this has happened, and God knows it wont be the last. My feelings on the matter will be casually brushed aside as an over reaction, irrational or just "being me", but that doesnt make them any less real, any less potent. For my opinions and feelings to be so flippantly disregarded further proves my notion that infact - As long as it has no effect on them, nobody gives a shit about what I think.

Bright lights - big city.

I believe i'm pipping Cllr. Little to the post here when I voice my utter disgust at the public transport system. Delays! So many delays! To the point at which we were unwilling forced to make some rather unnerving conversation on the overcrowded train (I blame Tom and Carrol for this). On another transport note, the tube is TERRIFYING. How do people do that every day? All the rushing and pushing and undergroundness and not knowing where the hell you're going. Note to Guy - hold the bar.

On a lighter, more topical note, the conference was fab. I was worried it would be one of those days where you're droned at by some boring old politicians while you zone out and end up staring at the back of somone's head for 4 hours at a time. On the contrary it was both interesting and engaging. Although I myself didn't have the guts to get up infront of everyone and heckle the speaker, it was encouraged and some willing candidates took it upon themselves to give these politicians a good grilling. I cant say i was enthralled by the first liberal democrat speaker, more enraged, but tony ben gave a comendable address that had us giggling and "the first gay tory" gave a good speech.

My whole lower half totally went to sleep on those wooden pews though. Oh my goodness - so uncomfy. When it got to the point of as Paddy put it "breaking the pain barrier" it wasnt so bad, but I think i'm a bit too boney to be stuck there for quite so long. London is not a comfortable location.

But yes - i'm home now. After minor stress out at Liverpool street regarding late trains and no seats which resulted in pegging it through first class and being stuck with 3 rather crude boys for the whole journey home. I'm back. I think it's definatly time for a cup of tea and jammies. Looking forward to filling out one of the 23 complaint forms in politics tomorrow.

Tchuss.

The game.

I hate washing up, i dont know why my family of 4 has not invested in a dishwasher. It would make my life a whole lot less gross.

Anyway, today has been rather productive! I fixed the chicken coop - putting my Y10/11 tech skills into practice, armed with hammer and nails I have re attached the wire to the frame and fixed the lid so it fits again. Now the chickens cant get out and the cats cant get in. Or so is the plan. Yes, i did hammer my thumb in true cartoon style - it really does do that comic throbbing thing.

I also managed to negotiate riding my very broken bike with one hand through the streets of Earsham (there were actually only 2 streets to go through) with a 5kg bag of chicken food slung over my shoulder throwing me totally off balance. A predicament i faced for a second time when I cycled up to Bungay to get milk and didnt have a rucksack. I feared, as I said before to Beej, a "dairy disaster".

Now I have to go wash the skanky dishes that are all covered in sticky gross stir fry before casualty starts and Amy gets back to add to the pile.

*excited about Monday*

I must be missing something

The general attitude of Y12s right now is little short of dismal. Did we all see our reports and suddenly give up the will to live? Or have we all just fallen into that post-holiday pit of monotony when we have no notable holidays to look forward to, exams coming up and weeks of school left before we can have another break.
Have we all forgotten that we did full days every day in Y11? We have frees now! Some of us have lots of them! Surely this would be enough to brighten us up just a little? I mean - who doesnt love a good game of canteen pong or shit head or uno?
I dont know, maybe i'm doing that thing where my mood is being reflected on others and i'm seeing it back. Let's face it, I havent been the happiest bunny these past few weeks and it cant be much fun to be around a complete toad when you're trying to have a laugh.
But mum's home now, more to follow but she's ok. She's back home with her cat, her own bed and a decent cup of tea (if i do say so myself). I'm just hoping she can get the break she's been hoping for, no more meddling well-wishers poking thier nose in. We're ok with the nice helpful ones, it's the do-gooder busy bodies that have proved a pain in the ass.

Gahhh.

Politics trip on Monday. Sarah in the big city. Me and Viki are going to have a good tiiiiime :) Not so sure about Harriet Harman and Cleggover. The rest is going to be a giggle. I pity the general public being on the commuter train with our politics class really. I'm still excited that i'm going actually through the streets of London, i've never been in the middle! My first ride on the underground was only last summer. I'm so uncultured.

But yes - it's now 23.23 (cool number) so i'm going to bed. Well - i'm going to get a drink and lock the garage and brush my teeth and clear a path through my room to my bed first. Then i'll go to bed. Might go into town tomorrowwwww.

Amayzing Mayzie.

Ok - i've chilled out again. Today hasnt been THE most amazing day but life goes on.

God help the next person to upset me.

Seussical on thursday - who will come with me?

A bad start to the second half

Well, my half term was going well - till today.

I'm not going into major details, those of you who know the main situation will probably know all about the minor one aswell. Not minor enough for it not to get to me though. Some people dont care who they step on to get a cheap shot in. Well you know what? I loved Wednesday night - and I dont regret it. I didn't do anything wrong. And as for what he said, let him have his opinion, I've tried and tried again to bridge the gap and he has made it perfectly clear what he thinks of me. Let him hate me.

Doormat no longer, I refuse to be bullied into feeling bad or apologising for things I havent done or being made to feel like I cant be friends with whoever the hell I like. No more blind trusting of so-called freinds, or relying on them to protect me from the spitefulness of jealousy and ignorance. No. I'm sick of it. I was promised support and security from them and all but 1 has let me down.

And you know what, I am due some good luck - I deserve it.

Yes. I am angry at the world. It's unfair.

Just a piccy update

This was wednesday night. I loved it quite alot. Thankyou Viki :)

Wizard Wednesday

I had such fun at Viki's :) possibly slightly too much. I'm doing the whole "bear with a sore head" thing today which cant be fun for the people who have to be around me for any length of time. It was good though, best wednesday night in such a long time.

I also had a rather lovely wednesday afternoon :) from about 4-6.30.

All the relatives are gone now, just us 3 again. Nice and quiet.

I like this one -

An elegy of sentiment forgotten,
Reduced to monotonous pneumonic
the world she grew to love.
Her soulful tune a child begotten,
It’s heartfelt melody symphonic.

New romantic

Sometimes the world's so full of silly clutter
it seems to be just scenery and props
for a dreadful play;
the dialogue is mutter,
the actors in it merely hams and fops.

On other,
brighter days the sense of utter
desolation lifts,
the penny drops
and it strikes me that we're all in the gutter
but some of us are gazing at the shops.

I didnt write that but I love it anyway.

So, it's been a while since I updated this really. I'm sat watching university challenge again. Last few days have not been entirely amazing but things are slowly returning to normal-ish. I doubt I could ever describe anything in my house as normal.

I've been looking for something to wear for Viki's on wednesday and have decided that I need to lose the food baby, buy new sukky inny jeans and a top that makes me look like a supermodel. Oh ho ho. I wish.

This is where there would be a lengthy awkward pause in conversation... I'm in a brain dead, tired/absent mood. It's a combination of spending alot of today walking around for some headspace and eating too much for tea (hence negating the effects of the prior)

There are 3 seperate conversations and a telly programme going on in this room. It's bonkers.

Sleepy slow Sunday

I got up at midday today, I have done no work all day apart from a sweeping glance at some blodge and have just finished my third cuppa with penguins dipped in it. Good dayyyy.

I've been messing about on Sims2 designing my dream house. It has massive staircases and a loads of different floors with a piano in my bedroom and a downstairs swimming pool. And 3 dogs. I'm still gauging how cross mum would be if I came home with a scottie puppy. I'd probably call it something silly though, like kitten or budgie.

Actually budgie is quite a good name for a puppy...

I'm off to do some cooking, i've been inspired by come dine with me. L8rsT8rs

OCD?

I steam cleaned the bathroom today. It took nearly 2 hours and everything got a good steaming. Got my auntie coming down from Wales on Monday so house has to be tidy tidy tidy. Mum's orders. Also, picked up 8 pairs of my shoes from around the house today and still didnt have space to put them on my shoe shelves. Too many shoooooes.

I sent a very scary text today. Cos I stole the number off someone else and it's weird to pinch other people's numbers and them text them and be like "oo i stole your number!" cos you sound like a total stalker...

I hope he doesnt think i'm a total stalker...

Checking up on all my cupcake blogs today I saw there is such thing as cupcake flavour dental floss. But I thought cupcakes came in hundreds of flavour combinations and confining floss to only one of those then giving it such a general name as "cupcake flavour" is just fundamentally wrong.

Also, I have 7 pieces of biology homework to do this weekend! Well, tomorrow, this weekend only has one day left. All from McRobs. She is so making up for all the homework that Malik hasnt given us. We felt so bad when she was observing his lesson and she asked us to show her the homework he'd set us and the only piece I had was something i'd written down myself as revision because I hadnt quite cracked it in the lesson... Nobody else had ANY.

Yesterday was fun :) Ignoring the schooly bit and Amy getting me into trouble ringing in my maths lesson to see if i would help her carry shopping home. Got to hang out with VikiRachSkiBeej in our usual haunt drinking coffee and eating cake. Then eating chips in Grosenovs and wandering over to Maddermarket bar before Oscar's play (which I didnt get to see but I hear good things) Then I went down to Pizza hut (not to eat more) to meet Rachel before we got in an actual proper taxi to Fridays. It was scary. We did it though. Also, Jonny was down at pizza hut which was a nice suprise :)

Fridays was fun, as usual. Singing and messing about. Also being odd stacking up pringles cans and pepsi with Rachel, seeing as we both have odd compulsions to make it all go in straight lines... It was bloomin' cold though.

I have to be off now, hope this was an amazingly thrilling update into my life for you. I wasnt sure what kind of picture to put up today so it's totally random. Lucky you.

Corr, yummy.

Bus stop trifle

What an odd day. Biology test was pants, despite all the revision i'd done. Though the hour at which I was doing it last night may have negated me doing it in the first place. I've just found out from Ciara that I actually have more homework. Joy.

PE was a lesson I could have spared myself. I am perfectly able to read a powerpoint on my own I dont need Mr. Stupid reading it out. He didnt even make it, it's copy pasted.

RE was cancelled. Scoooore.

Piano lesson was also good, I can totally play a song using both my hands both playing different things at different times. I was well chuffed.

Gospel was defiantly my highlight though, as always. Me and Rachel set a waffle date for next week, we discovered the joys of pointing and clicking. We sang Prince of Egypt songs, which I adore. "Deliver uuuuus da da da deliver uuuusss dum dum" (Those are so actual lyrics)

I had a really yummy trifle on the bus. It was from Marks and Sparks.

I'd best be off actually, my blog is rubbish today but i'm shattered. Maybe update tomorrow.

Have a picture

Oi Beej

Eat yer fruit.

Me and Hattie

This is summer 1992.

Mills and Mulhearn. Back in the day. I totally had walking down before Hattie, that's why she's stuck in the swing and I'm showing the floor who's boss.

Those swings were lethal, we both lost teeth because of that one on Hattie's right.

I have no ankles in this photo.

Take that technology

I've got my old number back :D

Oh happy days.

It'll confuse people now but it's so much less hassle.

Right now

I'm on hold.

I called t-mobile customer services, after 400 million "press a number if this applies to you" options I am now listening to Duffy on loop. It's SO irritating. I've been cut off twice and when I got through to a person they were like "Hello this is Jill how can I help you?" I say "Can I have my PAC code please?" and she goes "Ok let me just transfer you"

And i'm back to Duffy for 10minutes.

I hate trying to talk to these things.

Stretchy Jeans

Channel 4 is doing another food season. It's really thought provoking all about how people handle weight issues, eating, body image and all that kinda thing.

I never know how I feel about all this kinda thing, hypocritical maybe? Cynical definatly. Confused? Yup. I freely admit that I am unhappy with my weight, how I look and how I think other people see me. I dont judge people on how much they weigh, but I do fall out with myself when I think i'm at the wrong weight. I know, there is no wrong weight.

Thats me having yo-yo self esteem.

Sometimes I just wish that I could change all the bits about me I dont like, but then I wouldnt be me. And I still dont think i'd be entirely happy with it. Siiiiigh.

My jeans knees wore out today. Not cos I have chunky knees. Cos they're from primark. Anna told me how to patch them though.

Bored? Hell yes.

I reckon there's something in my room that starts with a letter in the alphabet. I'm bored ebough to test this theory.

A - AA complete test guide, everything you need to know to pass your test (except how to drive?)
B - Body lotions, in thier masses
C - Caramel latté coffee cups. Cold.
D - Duvet. It's big and pink and has "keep calm and carry on" written on it
E - Envelopes for the many letters I decide to send
F - Flatties, I own about 13 pairs of flat shoes cos I have duck feet and cant handle heels.
G - Green. My walls are green, apart from the pink one.
H - HiFiiiiiii I never use it though cos I play stuff through the pod speakers.
I - Instructions on how to use the phone. Unread.
J - Junk. So much junk.
K - Karma Sutra. (I made that one up. Or did I?)
L - Leftover scrambled eggs with toast. It smells like sunday afternoon gone wrong.
M - Money (lack of)
N - NOKIA 5310
O - Opiates. Haha. Jokes. ummmm Optical aids (spectacles x3)
P - Photos, at a guess i'd say about 100.
Q - Queen Lizzie (she's on a penny on my desk)
R - Red high heels. I never wear them. Who ever wears red high heels?
S - Sarah. Meeeeeeeee.
T - Television - I watch rubbish though.
U - Uranium.
V - VO5 curl and protect heat spray, defines with shine.
W - Words of wisdom.
X - XRAY XYLOPHONE
Y - Yummy smelling lipgloss
Z - Zappers. I have one for the telly one for th VCR and one for the DVD. None of them have batteries in them.

Oh for goodness sake.

When I have had a crappy day

I buy shoes.

Today has been a shoe buying day I'm afraid. It wouldnt have been up until 4th period, but stats test followed by maths followed by a certain someone, actually 2 certain someones being absolute tools followed by setting North to South followed by 45minute city waits for the bus just made my day pretty shit.

They're grey pumps btw. Like the ones everyone keeps getting from topshop but i got mine from Mr. Shoe cos a) they're cheaper and b) i couldnt be naffed to walk to topshop.

If anyone fancies improving my day, i'm open to some cheering up over here.

I dont know what this means

Accidental pyjama day

I had every intention of doing alot of very productive things today. Homework, housework, rewrite my CV so I can get some actual work, read the instructions for the stupid phone, work out how to return that damn poncho, tidy up the mountain of clean clothes that have found thier way onto my computer chair so i have to perch on the end of my bed to type and finally, tap out some vital maths know-how for Kate.

I got up at 13.56

This rendered at least half of my list impossible simply due to the time available in the day.

Anyway, I'm still in my pyjamas. I had rubbish scrambled eggs for breakfast/lunch and my room, although now half devoid of clean clothes, is a tip. I have managed to do some maths, flick through the american constitution in some detail and decide that the PE homework can just wait. I have been glaring at the phone all day. The poncho is all ready to go. I hope.

So Carphone Warehouse texted me today saying "hey thanks for choosing carphone warehouse *blah blah* how likely are you to recommend us to a friend on a scale of 1-10?" So I think to myself, this is my chance to relieve some of the pent up stress that has arisen due to mobile phones in the past 3 days and settle my own personal grudge with the new one. I weighed up my options, 1 is a silly number, if they're graphing this, 1 would be an anomolous result, 1 would have been not even buying it in the first place. Anything from 4-7 is "yeh, it's fine, i havent really thought too much about this." and seeing as I had to go right out of town to get the one I (thought) I wanted because they didnt have any in Chapelfield there was no way it was getting anything over 8. So, I texted back. "The reason I am not texting back a negative number is because a. It's not on the scale and b. I have a phone. The only redeeming feature was the sales assistants that sold me the stupid thing as they were cheery and reasonably attractive. Your part in the obtaining of the phone was little less than perfect. I just have no idea how the bloody thing works."

I felt this was an adequate response.

Anyway, now that i've checked all the updates on the cupcakes blogs I follow, and the one intelligent political blog, I shall be off. I may or may not get dressed - It's too late in the day to bother really. I'm such a slob.

So replaceable

I am so pissed off that I lost my phone, just the thought of some grotty chav sifting through all my texts and pictures that I had so lovingly collected over my 3 wonderful years with my good ol' razr. Alas, now gone, I have been forced to replace my trusty flippy with this new swanky shiny thing that does stuff without me telling it to and cost me a frikkin' bomb.

I miss my old phone to be honest. Yes, I was attached to it in an entirely unhealthy way, but just thinking of all the great conversations I have had whilst stuck to that thing. Oh if phones could keep secrets. This one makes me look like a try hard who couldnt decide what function she wanted of her phone. Camera? Music player? Pocket disco? I also have a fundamental problem with it being labelled "XpressMusic" cos it's spelt wrong and doesnt have a space between 2 clearly different words. Music is not the suffix to "Xpress" or even "express" it's just EURGH.

It's a phone. I know how to make it do the stuff I bought it for. Text. Call. Receive.

Moving on. Last night was trés fun, the bits I am fully aware of. I may have become increasingly intoxicated as the night wore on and this may or may not have led to me stuck in a corner of the kitchen in bare feet surrounded by cheap smashed wine glass. Never fear, Beej and Rachel rescued me. I am also a little scarred by some of the reading matter that was being giggled at like little kids. It's so not funny. We left that house tidier than how we found it! Ultimate teenage party guests methinks.

Star buy of today was not the phone. It was the peppermint lipbalm. Hands down.

Amazing Grace.

We sang a new song in gospel today, my favourite arrangement of amazing grace and it sounded so beautiful with all the parts together. It's always that first time we all sing our parts and you hear it all come together it's just incredible. I love it. It never gets old :)

Seemed to go quicker than usual today though, Fliss did very well keeping us all in line. Then it was off to St. George's for Fr. Tony's 25th Anniversary of his Ordination. It was a really nice mass, first time i've sat in the congregation as opposed to the choir loft for a long time so that was nice. Was still sat with the choir, and still sang, so no change there, but at least I was with everyone, not looking over the top of them like an owl in the rafters. (Though speaking of, my hair was very owly today...hoot hoot)

I am SO tired, honestly, it's just silly. I've been yawning away all day. I was glazing over in PE before Kirwan made me construct the human heart out of all the people in my class and demonstrate through means of mexican waves how the electric impulses travel. It's hard work getting dippy boys to stand in the right place and wave their arms, turns out they really cant multitask that well. Then I actually did fall asleep in my double free while doing my biology homework, but it's ok, Jonnie checked I wasnt dead then carried on with his piano practice as far as I know :)

I am looking forward to my lie in tomorrow. Very very much.

Anywho, apart from a very yummy cream muffin thingy that I got all over me in the car home, I havent eaten today (i'm a busy lady) so i'm off to make some pasta. (No Beej, that's not a bribe again) So I shall catch up tomorrow. Hope everyone has had a nice Wednesday.

An ode to just being there.

If there is something I love to do, it's make a cup of tea, climb into bed and read poetry. Just imagine how many moments led to every poem between the covers? How much time, and thought and emotion is written in every empty space between the words you see on the page? I think it's amazing, and what's more, inspiring. It makes me feel ok with the world again, getting lost in someone else's poetry. I was reading "If" for the thousandth time today, I can practically recite it by heart now.

Yes, I am in a mildly poetic kinda mood and yes, I should be in bed right now. But first I wanted to say something to the 5 people that make my very comparitavely tiny lifetime worth the carbon footprint.

I love you, all of you, alot. Possibly more than is considered normal as far as friendships go, but no harm. Without people like you wandering around the planet, people like me would undoubtably fall off of it. You are the gravity to my atmosphere :) It's times like this when it really hows how close people are, and the strength of the bonds between them. I know that you're all looking out for me right now. Thankyou. I wont forget this when it's you who needs a girly night in and an extra big smile first thing in the morning.

Ok, now im going to bed. I'm so sleepy my brain has ceased to function. Just, if anyone wants my fish - we cant manage them anymore. Big free tank. 3 fish - Turk, Carla and JD. They like cheesy pop records and walks in the park. Free to loving home, no flushing, no frying.

sorry tights...

it's bin time.

After nearly 6months of invincible tights, my favourite ever pair of tights are biting the proverbial dust. This is a very sad day.

On lighter notes, just watched the ol' presidential speech. Not bad, not bad, got a few good one liners in for the history books. I liked the "we will extend and open hand, if you will unclench your fist" bit, i thought that was a very good one. Mrs. Obama was wearing a luverly suit thing aswell, unfortunatly clashed with Barack's tie...

I have discovered my domestic goddess side recently. (This is a total tangent to the american president btw) I have been cooking and doing my own ironing and everything, my room (as of an hour ago) is a haven of absolute precision tidiness and I have organised all my work back into it's correct filing system ready for refferal to at a later date. I have also just cracked that damn stats homework, yes, facebook and blogspot were my own personal reward for doing so :)

I do not envy my bestest evervever friendy right now who is busy working away on stats revision for his exam tomorrow. I do envy the mini study-leave-lie-in and early finish he gets though...jammy little... Obviously he'll pass it :) He has a brain the size of a moderatly huge planet. But he does insist on getting stressed about it anyway. Unlike me of course...

I should be getting back to work though, I have 2hours to get a chunk of it done before I have to get on with other things, and help out a little, and I wont have time to do stuff tomorrow cos it's gospel day! Hurray! Will unfortunatly be heading off to the mass at 7.15 for Fr. Tony's 25th anniversary doodah. Singing in latin? No thanks. Crapis Angelicus. Need to find a way home that does not involve getting the 11.35 bus back to Bungay, not only because i'm terrified of being stabbed and killed in Norwich walking from Sprowston Rd to St. Stephens Str, but also because I will be shattered, fall asleep on the bus, miss my stop and end up in Halesworth. Plus walking back from Bungay to Earsham at that time of night seems to take forever. Euuuurgh. Such are the worries of my day.

This has been a rather rambly whingy kinda blog today, my apologies for my toadyness. Have a nice picture to brighten the mood a little.

Mmmmmm, yes please.

Oh life.

I have been doing some serious book bashing today, I went to waterstones on my way back from Viki's and I am just taking a break now from a political invasion of information.

I will pass this exam.

On a different note, me and mum went impulse shopping today and bought a £50 juicer. For the sheer hell of it. Then we made yummy juice and added Archers which makes it yummier. I have a new love for juicers, not as much as I love one pot (It's just SO simple!!) but still, there's alot of love there for my freshly juiced sunshine in a glass.

Things are sounding better after today, i'm not as scared as I was. Things are going to be ok I think. Now I can go back to worrying about exams eh?

A little inspiration

I've just read a really sweet blog that's inspired me to think of all the cool things i've done in the past year that has lead up to me being me at this very point in time.

Also, a week without a post, i'm slipping.

January 2008.

Oh my, mocks results and exams dominated my new year like nothing else, it seemed there was no letting up for Y11s with reports, parents evening and results all coming up. I like to say I did quite well, even if mum did lay into Mr. Ireson as though he had personally offended her by being a dick. He still hasnt given my folio back...

February

More exams of course. This was nearing the end of the dream team really... Me and Rach went to see the ballet and we all celebrated Jem's birthday at Shikis in tombland where I unknowingly ate octopus (I do NOT recommend it). I spent alot of time in Mrs. Hammersly's office in february.

March

Pfft, boring month, only one party?!

April

I had a job all this month, an amazing one, chocolate fountain operator!! Ha, £9.20 and hour and I got all the chocolate I could eat. We did our DofE this month. It was f***ing freezing to the point where there was snow settling on our tent. Rachel Viki and I couldnt sleep because we were so cold! There is alot of video evidence of that weekend, me being tortured by the boys (having bread thrown at me?!) Alot of secrets came out that weekend too. Gang? What gang.
Also, Gilmore sprained my elbow during my PE exam, and I still got a 10. Mwahaha.

May

New gang! I didnt stick with them long but we had alot of fun getting drunk/sunburnt with each other. I spent alot of time at home revising, seeing as we were all on study leave. Exams were nerve wracking and put alot of strain on relationships over May. Not least me and him. I still saw his last show though, I was so proud of him.

June

Nicole bond party, omg. Not the worst I have ever been to, but it wasnt exactly Ski's if you get my drift. Vodka in water guns? ewwwww. It was just so year 6 disco. (The DJ not the vodders). Metronomy was the reforming of me and Ski. We're still the same person in different people.

Lets not forget prom in this one! I think that was possibly up there in the top 3 events of my young life. Snell got drunk and we got away with calling him allsorts of names, Barber was grinding Carrol and Glaister was totally rat arsed. VERY funny.

July

This month fixed me. Latitude!!
Not just a musicl festival I can tell you, it was a 4 day flurry of new friends, old friends, best friends, booze, dancing, singing, poetry, dresses, wellies, tents, fires, experimenting *wink wink*, cooking over gas cans, sleeping at 4 and waking up at 10 to just do it all over again. I'm already saving for the next one, I loved it so much. Best 4 days ever. I owe my best friend to it.
Tom's party - Sand and cheeky smiles.
Hedenham bikerides, it was lovely.

August

This was the month of the legendary "Ski's party" where I got drunker than I have ever been in my entire life and slashed my foot open. Beej and Rach got together, Viki's birthday, Underage, Tim minchin with Rach. RESULTS! This really was an awesome month. I decided where I wanted to be at that time next year on that day. I made some big decisions. I'm glad I did.

September

Oh my goodness. 6th form?! What a change. Suddenly i'm no longer familliar with my old school, where I knew everyone and there was such a great atmosphere. I dont know anyone's names, i'm in a form with all these people i've never met and suddenyl i'm acting so unlike me...
I'm glad I had my good old 4 besties to help me out, this was my new start to school. I met some awesome people that i've made such good friends with, not least Jonnie and Anna.

October

Distrotion, choir festival, parties and Johnny Flynn :) This was us recovering from the shock of 6th form. The gang stuck together alot of the time, we ended up back at mine, I cooked my first proper roast dinner. Success!!

November

I got to a year without imploding. Wahey! Who needs them eh? Clare came back from uni for a bit, i saw my godparents and I got TCT started. This was the month I got involved with gospel choir. They are the most amazing bunch of people, I felt instantly accepted by them and I continue to love it. I think i've been going on about it ever since.

December

My 17th birthday saw me singing in the streets of norwich, falling asleep by the fire with my best friends and seeing all the old Y11s at prizegiving for the last time. It was a good month for relationships I think. Family christmas, with a smile on my face :)

Nervously confident.

Is it even possible to be feeling sure about yourself 12hours before your exam? Is it normal? Am I totally deluded?

Honestly, I'm pretty confident that I have done enough for this biology AS to NOT go horribly wrong. How could it? I've been through this stuff 400 times and it's not ALL going to be in there. Chances are there is going to be alot of stuff on that paper that I know.

Lets just hope I dont turn into my usual pre-exam nervous wreck, lose the ability to read or write and end up hiding under the desk for the entire exam. It could happen.

Good luck my biological comrades