A test of character.

There are more han 6 billion people on our planet. 6 billion different people, who laugh differently, smile differently, think differently. Being an individual is being one of 6 billion people doing exactly the same thing.

I believe that it is because of this vast quantity that we (or rather, I) will never understand even a tiny fraction of these people. Why they think what they think, or say what they say. What I wouldnt give for just a hint of an insight into some of the people I spend my time with. Primarily, what they think about me.

Call me paranoid if needs be - i can think of worse labels. But I do spend a huge amount of my time and effort worrying about what kind of impression I make. I worry that my friends dont actually like me that much (a fear that has recently been confirmed on 4 counts). I worry that something I say or do without a second thought leads to someone else making a false judgement of my character or personality. I guess it's the worrying that cushions the shock of finding out that I was right - and as much as it hurts to have these worries confirmed. At least I know i'm not an idiot.

All except one - him, I was suprised by. That one isn't going to heal quite as quickly. Sure, I could cry and stamp my feet. Probably send a very pissed off text message or email, blank said individual for a while until i've cooled off and the world has carried on a little. But it wont be the first time this has happened, and God knows it wont be the last. My feelings on the matter will be casually brushed aside as an over reaction, irrational or just "being me", but that doesnt make them any less real, any less potent. For my opinions and feelings to be so flippantly disregarded further proves my notion that infact - As long as it has no effect on them, nobody gives a shit about what I think.