Banoffee Pie.

I made one, then ate far too much of it. Turns out I have a bottomless pit of a stomach. It was gloopier than I had imagined, but with layers of chocolate biscuits, custard, caramel, bananas and whipped cream all with grated chocolate between, i wasn't shocked.

I'll put up a piccy if i can suss out the phone picture thingy.

So. I've drunk a good few pints of lemsip today. It hasn't helped much. Bear with a sore head springs to mind... Stats was SHIT. I even got kicked out, which was charming. No doubt i've failed that. I no longer have a second sport for my AS level in PE. FANTASTIC. I have a week to find a new one. But, Thomas - my saviour is going climbing with me on Saturday. So that'll be out the way.

Ok, so I'm a tad stressed. It's a thursday. I'm allowed to be stressed.

I have alot of work to do before tomorrow's C1C2 test. Ahhhhhhh.

I picked now to eat this?

Just as i'm yumming my way through an entire tin of custard (low fat, calm down) Up comes Heston making calf brain custard from, you guessed it, brains, and fermented fish guts.

I don't feel like finishing my custard any more.

Ultimate frisbee tomorrow, i'm so excited :)

114 days to go

You are not lost. You are here.

I lean on people. I always have. Some people are leaners, and some people are supporters. It's the simple constructive properties of life. I am a leaner. Or at least I have been recently.

I am the first to raise my hand and admit that it's simply impractical to rely on these sturdy and supportive individuals for everything life throws at you - despite me having kept this up for an extended period. But i'm also the first to admit that without them, I would have had trouble staying up. I dont know if I say enough how much these people mean to me - I dont know if they even know that I think about it that much. I do though.

This meant something to me -

"God placed us upon the highest cliff top and said to us, you are free to fall. To fall is to live the life I have given you. To fall is to trust me to catch you. If God had wanted us to plunge to the rocks below, if this were to be our fate. He would not have given us those we love, for they are our wings. They are our safety."

hmm.

I dont know how better to put that. I hope they know though.

Edge to Edge

I'm so looking forward to my pizza coming out of the oven.

Today was schooly - there's honestly not much else to report. I've totally not been in the blogging mood recently. I fear I may end up saying something in the heat of the moment - it's been a bit rocky.

Gah - i'll be more interesting soon, I promise.


Have a picture.

Not again

ONCE WAS ENOUGH THANKS.

Heston

This man is toying with the laws of food and nature. He's made a pig/duck/goose/chicken/pig monster nutant beast and is stuffing it with a billion different animals.
It's a tiny bit sick.

Maths today was impossibly difficult - maybe just for me. It was one of those moments that you sit there looking at the problem willing your brain to work it out by itself without me doing the work. Needless to say, it didnt really happen. I'm pinning the blame on a late night last night. As fun as it was doing the Prince of Egypt rehersal, getting home at gone half 10 is a silly time of night when i still had stats homework to do and needed a shower before bed. It was about midnight by the time i got to sleep - i cant do maths on 6 hours sleep.

I'm complaining a bit too much methinks.

On a lighter note, it's interesting and kinda fun having the french exchange students around. I've spoken (english) to a few of them and my very poor attempts at french have either made them laugh or look at me funny so heavens knows what i said to them. It usually ends up with either of us miming then just laughing and asking someone else to translate.

Tomorrow is EMPA day! Joy of joys. Biology. Ahhh. I dont really know what to expect, I think it's something on pectins and hydrolysation of something according to snatches of conversation i've listened in on. Either way, it's a flawed exam what with being able to see over the bench at what your friend is doing. I'll make sure i'm opposite Jemmo.

Anywho, must be off, trig functions to do and my IQ tends to drop as I get closer to midnight. Au revoir!

Weekends

Not all they're cracked up to be methinks.

Stuff keeps going wrong.

Pfffffffft.

If anything, school is going to be the break.

Red Nose Results

I got my brown envelope yesterday :) After days and weeks of fretting, nailbiting and general despair at the prospect of having failed the first half of my AS courses. I am pleased to report that I, Sarah Mills, am not a total failure at school.

Biology - B
Politics - C

Good ones too, i'm retaking politics in the hope of getting a B at least, if not juuuuuust scraping an A. That'd be good. Maybe wishful thinking. I was chuffed with blodge. I was bracing myself for a U.

Moving onto today, all my lessons apart from P5 was cancelled. Joy. Free day. Free day that I would have liked to spend in bed really, but oh well. Me, Cati, Hannah and Kim pottered down to the cathedral to do some maths in the sun and wander about. Bumped into George, Ski and Beej (briefly) which was nice :) hadnt expected them to be out really.

I'm excited to hear how jazz night has gone, I'm not sure if it's over yet but my favourite bass player in the whole wide world is playing and I have my jazz shoes on just for him. I wish I could have stayed for all of it! I could do with a good bit of jazzing. I did get a mini fix this morning in one of the dingy dungeon practice rooms in school with Jemmo for a few hours. (I'm totally better at flute than Jem. Ha.)

I'm off to do some more work with comic relief in the background, they're on something like £28m.

Woah.

The Soul Sessions

Is my current choice of mellow and chilled out background music. I have just successfully sorted out, re-organised and holepunched my folders. All my work is categorically filed with postits a plenty and page tags in each different, sub-section, category and syllabus statement.

This is very theraputic for my inner balances. You have no idea.

So now, i'm compiling my revision timetable leading up to my first exam prioritising with the stuff i've missed, or had completely gone over my head. Then some good ol' basics. Then add-ons. It only dawned on me when Tom said in politics today that this time last year I was panicking about GCSEs. Mt goodness. How naive I was.

I am an oasis of calm. I am an oasis of calm. I am an oasis of calm.

I'm terrified.

A note to my older sibling.

Quit reading my blog.

Operation bikini.

I could drown in the amount of ben and jerrys I have consumed this weekend. Comfort eating - as mentioned to Emma only moments ago is going to wreck my summer. Operation bikini is my attempt to not be the slightly chubby, very single, very untanned girl sat with a face like thunder all summer until the weather gets cold enough for me to put my fat man trackies back on and hide in my room.

Yes - this is me overexaggerating a rather crappy weekend. But I have every right to. Just because.

Dont judge me. Just call me, ok?

A test of character.

There are more han 6 billion people on our planet. 6 billion different people, who laugh differently, smile differently, think differently. Being an individual is being one of 6 billion people doing exactly the same thing.

I believe that it is because of this vast quantity that we (or rather, I) will never understand even a tiny fraction of these people. Why they think what they think, or say what they say. What I wouldnt give for just a hint of an insight into some of the people I spend my time with. Primarily, what they think about me.

Call me paranoid if needs be - i can think of worse labels. But I do spend a huge amount of my time and effort worrying about what kind of impression I make. I worry that my friends dont actually like me that much (a fear that has recently been confirmed on 4 counts). I worry that something I say or do without a second thought leads to someone else making a false judgement of my character or personality. I guess it's the worrying that cushions the shock of finding out that I was right - and as much as it hurts to have these worries confirmed. At least I know i'm not an idiot.

All except one - him, I was suprised by. That one isn't going to heal quite as quickly. Sure, I could cry and stamp my feet. Probably send a very pissed off text message or email, blank said individual for a while until i've cooled off and the world has carried on a little. But it wont be the first time this has happened, and God knows it wont be the last. My feelings on the matter will be casually brushed aside as an over reaction, irrational or just "being me", but that doesnt make them any less real, any less potent. For my opinions and feelings to be so flippantly disregarded further proves my notion that infact - As long as it has no effect on them, nobody gives a shit about what I think.

Bright lights - big city.

I believe i'm pipping Cllr. Little to the post here when I voice my utter disgust at the public transport system. Delays! So many delays! To the point at which we were unwilling forced to make some rather unnerving conversation on the overcrowded train (I blame Tom and Carrol for this). On another transport note, the tube is TERRIFYING. How do people do that every day? All the rushing and pushing and undergroundness and not knowing where the hell you're going. Note to Guy - hold the bar.

On a lighter, more topical note, the conference was fab. I was worried it would be one of those days where you're droned at by some boring old politicians while you zone out and end up staring at the back of somone's head for 4 hours at a time. On the contrary it was both interesting and engaging. Although I myself didn't have the guts to get up infront of everyone and heckle the speaker, it was encouraged and some willing candidates took it upon themselves to give these politicians a good grilling. I cant say i was enthralled by the first liberal democrat speaker, more enraged, but tony ben gave a comendable address that had us giggling and "the first gay tory" gave a good speech.

My whole lower half totally went to sleep on those wooden pews though. Oh my goodness - so uncomfy. When it got to the point of as Paddy put it "breaking the pain barrier" it wasnt so bad, but I think i'm a bit too boney to be stuck there for quite so long. London is not a comfortable location.

But yes - i'm home now. After minor stress out at Liverpool street regarding late trains and no seats which resulted in pegging it through first class and being stuck with 3 rather crude boys for the whole journey home. I'm back. I think it's definatly time for a cup of tea and jammies. Looking forward to filling out one of the 23 complaint forms in politics tomorrow.

Tchuss.