Dear World.
Kindly shut up about snow and ice and get a bit warmer so I don't have to wear a huge coat and boots all day, every day. While you're at it, stop raining on me - it wrecks my hair and gets my books soggy.
Stop asking me about hoodies, and meetings and essays and pe and exams and revision because they're all stupid, I hate them all and I'm rubbish at them.
If you could arrange for a miracle in the form of me actually getting an offer, getting half decent grades, passing 6th form and going to university (we'll discuss passing my degree later) I'd be much obliged.
Until then, kindly piss off and leave me alone to sulk in my uselessness and drink tea.
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